Parenting needs a guide book

No body ever said parenting was easy, or does it come with an instruction manual. The last two weeks Tyler has been acting out, not really sure why or where this is coming from or even how to handle it. I know I have made my fair of mistakes growing up and didn't always do everything I was suppose to or listen when I needed to listen. I'm sure all these mistakes his making are all apart of learning and growing and being a boy. Boys are so different then girls. I grew up with only sisters and the only boys I knew where my cousins, but at age 10 we had moved so after that they only one's I knew were from school or my friends siblings or my sister's boy friends. I believe my exact words when finding out Tyler was a boy where "what on earth do you do with a boy" 2 sister's and 4 niece's later he was our very first male on my side of the family. Wouldn't change it for the world. In fact I love having my boys they are the greatest gift ever. They both have their moment's but for the most part they love their mommy and they each need their mommy time with me.

But why has he always been so difficult with following rules, I swear every year I have to deal with this. He's not listening or following play ground rules. Mike and I both feel that we should as a team discipline him for bad behavior but when is enough enough?? It seems like we can take aways everything, TV, DSi, Wii, Bike, skateboards..... and still he will return to school and misbehave. I always find it odd that when at home he always seems to be so good. I hardly see this misbehaving side. Even as a very little guy in daycare or at preschool I was always hearing about how Tyler wasn't following rules or bothering other little kids or a note being sent home about what rule he broke that day. It's hard not only on us as parents but on us as a family. I feel like Tyler being in trouble ruins things for us at home. No TV mean's there is NO TV for all of us, not wanting rewarding for bad behavior but his there a line so the rest of us dont have to suffer. If I send him to his room, he will just sleep then he wont be sleepy when its bed time.

So after a few days of battling my head and my heart I have come to the conclusion that maybe taking EVERYTHING from Ty isn't the best way to handle this whole situation. I feel that taking so much all at once will make it hard for him to want to earn everything back. Almost like its unreachable goal, then theres a part of me feels that maybe Tyler's aggressions come from deep inside. Maybe from the emptiness we all have from not having Mikie in our lives. Some how I have always thought this was a big part of Tyler's emotions and actions. Even though I cant prove it I feel like this has a huge part of who he is today. So how do I fix this little kid that I love?? I start everyday a new day, a fresh start to make the mistakes we did yesterday and fix them, learn from them and making them better today. I always remind him it's a day to start over and that we love him. Today was a little different I have decided that I would un ground him from everything. It's not only a new day for him but for us as parents as well. We all need to take a step back and look at this big picture as a whole. I have to remember that he's only 8 years old. He's regained everything back, but his skateboard. :( that's not longer an option, but he will be able to make it so he can earn a new one for his birthday or Christmas. I didn't really agree with the whole skateboarding thing, but by the time I got home it was already in pieces. Hopefully Tyler will remember though and know that he isn't allowed to break other people's belongings and that isn't not a good feeling when someone breaks your stuff or hurts you.

I just want to be this amazing parent, with these amazing children that are successful in life. I want my boys to have the knowledge to know right from wrong and good vs bad. I pray everyday that this two boy's are bonded together for life and nothing can tear them apart. Not family, money, distance, etc.... Family is family and it shouldn't matter your mistakes, you love regardless and unconditionally. As tomorrow starts a new week I can only pray I give Tyler the proper guidance to make decisions and choice that he knows are right.

Father's day

so it was brought to my attention that I haven't blogged in some time. So I thought I would share about our father's day. Considering how much fun it was. On Saturday Mike, I and Tyler along with our bestest friends went to six flag's marine world. We had so much fun riding rides feeling like we were teenagers again. Tyler was a lot of fun. He went on almost every ride he could. He loved the new Tony Hawk ride. It was pretty good....

Well then Sunday we decided to do a pot luck BBQ, We had my in laws, my parents, my sister and bother in law and their children, my best friend her husband and kids and her in laws. A house full of people and good food. My sister and I made these "Sunday funday" shirts as kinda of an inside Joke. Let me just start from the beginning.......

A long long time ago. My family and the Smith family were very close. We shared a grandma which to this day I love her and she is very dear to my heart and wish she was still alive to see us now. She wasn't really my "real" grandma but she always treated us like we were. At some point in our lives we lost touch with the Smith family especially Zack and Adam. Well about 2yrs ago I started to look for Adam and I My spaced his high school and messaging random people asking if anyone knew where I could find him. I only heard back from one person and she wasn't sure. I prayed about it asking my grandma to help me. I knew she was always looking over all of us and that someday we would be reunited. Long story short, about 3 weeks later my parents got a call from Adam and Zack'ss dad, Rich!!!! Yep and they have been in our lives ever since.

OK now the whole shirt thing. Well I was suppose to go up to see the Smith family a few weeks ago with my mom and dad, but Mike finally had a day off work and I felt bad leaving him all alone. He's not to often he's off. So my parents went with out me. Well Adam and my parents took and picture and sent it to my phone of the 3 of them together rubbing it in my face I was missing out. Adam had on this shirt

OK well Jealous me like his shirt and sees that even his little brother Zack has one. I was told that I have to show up to an event to get one. So me and Corrie decided we would make our own. We did and we wore them on fathers day. We took a picture with my parents and sent it to them
and this was the response we got from them:




It was pretty fun. I love this family and they are very dear to me for so many reason's. Mostly having them back in our family just make my grandma being gone a little easier these days. I miss her so much and I'm so glad that she took me and my family in as her own. She was such and amazing women and someone that I wanted to mold my self after. She was the "glue" that made us one whole family at times!!!!!! She would have really enjoyed all the silliness of these shirt.

Its baseball season!!

Tyler started his 4th year of baseball. I can hardly believe he's been doing it for so long. The first 2 yrs he played in Brentwood and Mike was his coach. Last year he started at the concord little league and we had the chance to work with an amazing coach. We felt so lucky last year not only be on the T-ball Giants but to have such an awesome coach. Mike was a helper but not the actual coach. This year we again decided to play for the concord little league and we are on the coach pitch Giants with the same coach as last year. Its going to be an awesome season. Tyler is doing to good so far. He's had some really great hits catches and plays. Mike has also be able to play a bigger coaching role this year on the team. Tyler seems to be enjoying it more this year too. Last year he wouldn't put on the gear for catcher and this year he was so excited to to do. He liked playing catcher.

Happy 1st Birthday Jake

Our beautiful happy amazing baby boy has officially turned 1. How can that be? I swear I was just complaining about being pregnant and over due. Mike and I can not express enough what a true blessing Jake has been to our little family. Although we would LOVE to have more children we are stopping here. I can never express why Jake is so special to us. We had tried for a very long time to have another baby and it just never could happen. We started trying right before Tyler turned 2. I thought that having our children closer together would be great. They could play together and become great friends. Well like everything god always has another plan for us. After 3yrs of trying I finally got a hug surprise. When I told Mike he didn't believe me, we had been trying for so long I think we both were convinced Tyler was going to be our only child. I didn't want Tyler to be an only child so having Jake was a blessing. Jake has shown me how patient I can be, he's very busy and is very hard headed (maybe like his mommy) when he wants something he wants it. He is how ever a great baby, he's very happy and Tyler is everything to him. He love his big brother and Tyler just love him.

So on top of Jake 1st birthday we also managed to move 2 weeks earlier, But Mike and I did it. We moved and had our house unpacked and beautiful for the birthday event. It was nice to be able to show our family our new home and what a great neighborhood we now live in. It's not to far from our old house. The kids enjoyed playing out front and riding bikes and scooters and skate boards. It was a lot of fun. I think even Jake enjoyed his birthday. By the time people where starting to go home, poor Jake could hardly keep his eyes opened. Aunt Corrie went and put him to sleep.

8 Years

On Tuesday was mine and Mikes 8 year wedding anniversary, It's so hard to believe its already been 8 yrs. On Saturday night my parents took the boys so we could go to dinner to celebrate. It was such a nice dinner. We went to Ruth Chris in WC. It was so good and so expensive. I don't think we will ever be able to eat there again. Mike has always wanted to go there and a few months ago my boss gave me a gift card for there and I have been saving it for a special reason. We really enjoyed it, the service is great the drinks are great and the food is so good. Mike had bought me a cricut a few weeks ago and I wanted to get Mike something so Friday he was off of work due to the rain and I went to Fry's and I bought him something he wanted for his iphone. It let's him listen to XM radio from his iphone through his truck. He was so happy, it great that they little things that make him happy. Im blessed to be his wifey.

Also on Friday after Tyler got out of school we went to Brentwood to check out a few home's that Mike had seen on Craig's list. Oh man the houses yuck, they looked nice in the pictures not so nice in person. We were slightly disappointed. Our last attempt was in our old neighborhood. We called on a house and it was 2 bedroom plus a den. They lady asked what we were looking for and Mike told her the amount we were trying to stay with in and it had to be at lest 3 bedrooms. She gave us an address of a house to look at, on the out side of the house was beautiful. So we called her back asking when we could see the inside and she said she would make a phone call and call us back. It wasnt more then 3 minutes and a lady name Cheryl called telling us she could be there in 15 minutes. Wow we couldn't believe it when we walked into this house it was beautiful and clean. It was the first house I felt safe to put Jake down and let him walk around. It was 3 bedroom, in our price range and CLEAN and so nice. Mike was in love. We filled out an application and on Sunday they notified us telling us it was ours if we wanted it. We couldn't believe it. So needless to say we are moving AGAIN, but this time for a long time. This has everything we want. Its back in our home town that we miss, its in walking distant to the school Tyler should have gone to had we staid in Brentwood and the middle school he should go to when his older and on a court where Tyler can ride is bike and play out side and a park we can walk to and close to our Friends house. We are very excited and looking forward to being back in Brentwood. This week has been full of great surprises it could be a better anniversary.

Jake 11 Months

So Jake is 11 months and has developed his own little personality. He has started to talk and we are starting to understand what he's wanting. His words that he knows are,

Mama Dada, Buba ( For Tyler which is kinda cute because Ty called Mikie Buba and we didn't force this onto Jake he just

started doing it) Baba, Ba,( for Bath) yeah and then he just started to shake his head No. So his

vocabulary is developing and its so much fun to see him grow. He has also started to be

very defiant. He likes what he likes and wants what he wants. He's very determine and headstrong. If I tell him no he will cry and then within a few minutes do what ever it was he was doing that I told him NO for. lol sometimes its hard not to laugh at him because he is so different then Tyler. We have baby locks on some of the cabinets and it doesn't stop him from getting into them. He finds his way into anything. He takes off with things like my make up that i have to go looking for and anything that's Tyler's he loves. Tyler has now started closing his bedroom door to keep Jake out of his stuff. We are look forward to the next few weeks when he has his first birthday. I just cant believe this time is already here. Mike and I feel so blessed to have 2 beautiful boys and are both so different in their own little ways.

My surprise!!

So my wonderful Husband had been saying for over a week that he bought me something. I could not figure out what was so exciting that he could have bought me. Since we decided money was tight and we didn't buy anything for each other during Christmas, there really wasn't anything I could think of that he would have brought me. I know I really wanted a cricut but I knew that they were every expensive and just figured it would be one of those things I would get when we win the lottery. I also wanted these new shoe's for Christmas and a few weeks ago Tyler had asked us why Santa didn't bring me my shoe's I wanted? So I kinda thought maybe that's what Mike had bought me, but he threw me off with him being so excited. Shoe's just couldn't be that exciting. Soooooo the last few days I just didn't know what it was. On Tuesday he told me that it was here in Concord at the post office but they wouldn't give it to him. So then yesterday Mike had a dentist appointment. He was gone for such a long time almost 2 hours. When he got home he told me my present was here, in the garage!! I pretended not to care,but he had gone to the post office again to pick it up him self. So then I was so curious what on earth could it be. So I went out side. When I figured out what it was I started to cry. He was right I did love it and he did a great job surprising me. I just knew that it was expensive and I felt so guilty. He told me that with Christmas not getting anything and our anniversary coming up he wanted to get me something, but then he also said that he appreciated all that I do for him and our children and he knows how hard I work keeping the house clean and organized. So even though I still don't feel like I deserve such a wonderful gift my husband does and I love it so much and I so excited to make such great things with it. I'm going to go to the craft store as soon as I can go find stuff. So thank you so much to my husband I am feeling so blessed and loved. I am so excited for my new cricut.

Welcome 2010

Wow hard to believe but we are already half way through the first month of the new year. We have had so many exciting things happen. Christmas was so wonderful this year. It was great to see both our children up and ready for what Santa had brought them ( although I know Jake doesn't understand, he was still very excited to get a new toy) Tyler had a very difficult time coming up with and idea of what he really wanted for Christmas. Mike and I had decided that he was getting a DS, but then a few weeks before Christmas he told us he wanted an Army tank that you could spy on people with. If you ask me it was a piece of garbage toy he didn't need or did I think he would play with it for more then 5mins and be done with it. I had such a hard time with this. You want your kids to have the very best christmas and for them to be able to get what they want, but I just didnt like this idea. I finally told Tyler that I think they dont make that toy anymore because its not really a good toy it breaks easily and its not as cool as the commercial says it is. He only wanted that nothing else, but with enough persistence he decided that he really wanted a DS, not a DSi or a DS lite, oh no you have to be kidding me. Then I had to explain that they dont make a DS anymore its a DSi or a DS lite. Drama and tears but then again with enough persistence he came to he's seances and was ok with getting a DSi. I'm really happy that Santa had brought him a DSi, it was a great present and he didn't really ask about this Army tank that he wanted. He's been very responsible taking good care of it and keeping it out of reach of Jake.

Jake turned 10mons on Dec 27th, and the weekend before Christmas he took his first steps. Its been amazing to watch him take off with it. He has become a really great walker. I'm just in aw of him. He is such a blessing to me. He's a pretty happy baby.

We spent New Years with our great friends the Blanton's. They are living in Rocklin, its so beautiful there. They showed us around town and Anna and I got to do a little bit of shopping with our kids. It was nice to get away for a few days and just relax. Anna and Erik made us feel so welcomed in their home and made us feel right a home. I'm looking forward to going up there again sometime in the summer. Tyler and Erik Jr get a long so well they did all kinds of boy things and Jake and Ava are going to be great friends seeing that they are so close in age.

I was off of work for about 2 weeks and it was so nice to be home with the boys during that time. It was kinda of bitter sweet when we had to get back to real life. Tyler had to go back to school and I was sort of ready to go back to work. Working 3 days is perfect right now. I'm really glad it works for us. I love being able to be home with my babies, but Im also glad for the little break I get. Its just enough time to be away from them to miss them and then be back at home. Its also so nice to be home and able to get done things around the house with my time off. I hope everyone has a great 2010, I know I'm looking forward to it. Mike and I will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary and then we have Jake's first birthday to look forward to in a couple of weeks. Its a great way to start off the new year. Here's a few pictures from Christmas.

It snowed

So last Monday it snowed her in Contra Costa County. It was so awesome to see. We didn't know what to expect when we woke up Monday morning but in our neighborhood there was no show. Tyler was so bummed because Mike had told him the night before that there should be snow when he gets up. Now being that I grew up in snow I wasn't too excited about it I hate being cold and wet so for me it wasn't something I really cared about... That was until I took Tyler to school and saw car's with snow on them. I dropped him off and it got me wondering where did it snow. I drove towards Clayton and there it was it was really beautiful. The mountains were covered in a blanket of snow and it really made me excited. Had I known I would have taken Tyler to Clayton before school to let him play in it. It was a once in a life time experience and I was a little sad that he was missing it. So on my lunch hour I picked him up from school and before taking him to Mimi's and Papa's I surprised him and took him to see the snow. I found a little hill that hadn't been touched yet. He was so excited and so was I. Here are a few picture of our time with the snow. It was truly a beautiful sit to see. I'm sorry for anyone who missed it. We did save some snow for Carissa cause she was pouting about not being home. lol

Our Christmas Tree

Our beautiful Christmas tree. Mike Tyler and I enjoyed Thanksgiving morning putting up our Christmas tree. I'm surprised how well Jake has stayed away from it. I really thought I would be fighting him everyday to stay way from it. I even put all the ornament up higher so he couldn't play with them. I think once I put presents under the tree it will be a lot more exciting to him.